I remember finding my parent’s stash of condoms and not knowing what the hell they were when I was a nosey little kid. My mother found me in her room, open Trojan wrappers strewn all over the floor, blowing up big greasy balloons of shame. I suppose the moment could have been used as an introduction to a chat on safe sex, but I think mom was more horrified of the scene she walked into. Probably desperately hoping I didn’t find her stash of "toys" and whatever other shit I never ever want to associate with my mother.
Every kid has the, “I found your condoms” moment growing up. What anyone does with that information probably scars their character, which explains a lot about the GOP’s fear of porn, but whatever. Maybe mom should have rewarded my treasure hunt with a trip to the “safe sex” themed restaurant, ‘Condoms and Cabbage’ where the waiters serve Mai Tai’s with condoms blown up on their heads… because a guy with a condom on his head is what I want to see while I eat. Or maybe she should have put a water filled condom on my head because apparently that’s a thing, as well. I honestly don't remember what she did, though I do remember she was embarrassed.
Oh well! On with videos, gifs, photos of people improperly using condoms! Here’s to everyone's inner I-A-B child!