Study Says Ballsacks Proportionate to How Whiney Monkeys Are

Submitted by: lalapancakes 5 months ago Science
monkeyballs

An amusing study picked up by Motherboard involves ballsacks and Howler Monkeys. They’re seeing the louder the monkey, the smaller the monkey’s balls. Imagine that...

An excerpt from Motherboard:

As Knapp mentions above, a louder, small-balled monkey is more likely to develop a harem of females with whom he has exclusive breeding access. The quieter, well-endowed monkeys, on the other hand, tend to end up in larger groups containing many males and females that copulate freely with each other. In this non-exclusive group, males compete for paternity quite literally with their balls. The bigger a male’s sperm count, the more he is to edge out all the other males that are mating with the same females.

In this way, howler monkeys have evolved two sexual strategies—calls versus balls—to the exclusion of each other. Loud monkeys need to secure exclusive access to females because they would have trouble keeping up with their big-balled counterparts, who are more likely to fertilize females due to larger sperm production. Quieter monkeys have less success attracting females with their bellows, but they are locked-and-loaded where it counts.

There are 6 comments:
Male 5,723
I though they just drove monster trucks.
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Male 1,255
And buy those fucking stupid rubber ballsacks to attach to the tailgate.
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Male 2,111
LOL!  I liked that.  :)
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Male 1,157
So there are scientists that go around measuring monkey ball sacks?  Boy, if I had spent the time to get a PhD and had that job, I would be pretty depressed.
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Male 2,111
One can only imagine how the question, "So what do you do?" is answered. "Ummm, I... uh... conduct quantitative analysis of primates' reproductive features." ... "So is that like a mathematical job?" ... "No, it's more field-oriented." ... "So, you're like doing videos? For nature documentaries?"  ... "I MEASURE MONKEY BALLS, OKAY?!  There, I said it. Now you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a drink."
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Male 1,011
So, if 5Cats was a monkey....he'd have tiny balls but plenty of chicks? But also shooting a large proportion of blanks?....Sounds about right.
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